I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
Age Appropriate Dating
By Ken Solin
Experience and Wisdom Come With Age
I dated on and off for a decade before I met my partner online two years ago, and I dated women my age exclusively. I believe senior women make the best possible dates and partners, and while I don’t mean to disparage younger women, who are terrific in many ways, they can’t hold a candle to senior women as partners for senior guys. Senior women are rich in I.Q. and EQ, i.e. brains and emotional smarts.
To find out more interesting facts on senior dating, visit our senior dating facts section.
What’s Old Is Also Refreshing
One of the greatest things in a relationship is the ability to relate to each other and bring up individual or shared memories of the past and laugh about them. I was reminded just how perfect senior women are on the night my date, who became my partner, showed me an old photo of her in a tie-dyed T-shirt and frizzy brown hair shooting in all directions. We laughed all evening about our flower-powered pasts. It was one of the most enjoyable dates I’d had in a long time, and it drove home the fact that when it comes to later-life dating, it’s about having fun, which includes relating to each other’s experiences.
Strength Of Character
When you are looking for a serious relationship, you want to look for that partner who won’t cut and run at the first sign of relationship trouble. You want your partner to accept you for who you are and under your differences.
Senior women have been through a lot, and it’s that plethora of experiences that created such stellar women. Many marched for their equal rights and succeeded. Most fought the glass ceiling in the workplace and are still in the process of prevailing. Being able to draw on that hard-won inner strength in a relationship gives them strength of character and makes them rock-solid partners in every way.
Many senior women have raised kids, often as single moms, job-hopped to make ends meet, volunteered in their communities, gone back to school, and maintained close, lifelong friendships with other women. They have incredible amounts of grit, character, and stamina, and their stories regarding their experiences make senior women fascinating dates and partners. And senior guys won’t have to explain that Paul McCartney wasn’t always a solo act and that Jefferson Airplane never got off the ground, well in a plane anyway.
Your True Best Friend
It’s always a good sign when a woman has a close circle of friends to share her feelings and experiences. Nearly every senior woman I’ve known has confessed reporting back to her lifelong circle of women friends on the success or lack of success of her dates. The trust and emotional-intimacy skills that a woman develops through her female friendships are transferable to her relationship with a guy. I wish every senior guy could experience how sweet it is to be involved with a woman who’s not just your lover, but also your best friend. Admittedly, this was a new experience for me, but one that I never take for granted and always appreciate. It’s amazing how simple it can be to communicate with a partner who’s so mater and experienced. When I ask my partner for advice, her suggestion is what might work best for me, with little or no consideration regarding how it might affect her. That’s best friend stuff in my book.
Advances in women’s earning power have freed senior women from focusing on a man’s net worth as a gauge of his datability. Senior guys should see this as a great leap forward. We no longer have to support a woman financially to win her heart, and women can choose a man from a place of love, not economic necessity. This changes the dating paradigm considerably, and it allows dating to be more authentic and organic.
Don’t Believe The Myths
The notion that senior women are bitter and angry is seriously flawed, as is the myth that senior women are no longer interested in sex. In the years I dated I never met an angry or bitter senior woman, and I suspect that divorced guys are inappropriately projecting their experiences with their ex-wives onto all senior women. And on that basis, senior men are often bitter and angry too.
Great Sexual Partners
And regarding sex, senior women are willing and eager to become sexual again, particularly with a man who is patient and caring. But they wisely know that an emotional connection is critical to have in place first, because the only relationships that have long-term potential are those that include a strong emotional tie.
I urge senior guys to reconsider the age parameters on their profiles on online dating sites to reflect women their age or close if they hope to have a loving partnership based on mutual respect and admiration. If they do, they’ll quickly become senior women’s biggest fans and potentially, find their compatible one.