I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
How to Find Character Online
By Ken Solin
Discovering a potential date’s character in an online profile is simple once you know what to look for. There are keywords, expressions, and phrases that senior daters can use that fill in any character blanks. Alternatively, an online profile that doesn’t contain any references to character is one-dimensional and isn’t useful in determining whether or not someone is an appropriate date. It may also indicate that the person doesn’t understand character, which makes that person a pass.
Back To The Future
I belonged to match.com before I met my partner online. I joined match.com again briefly so I could write a review of their senior dating website. While my profile was up for less than an hour, I received numerous emails, which - while not my intention - was likely due to my character-filled profile. Incidentally, in my review I gave match.com for seniors the highest rating.
The Masculine View
In my profile I wrote about the woman I was seeking:
“A smart woman who has lived her dreams or is living them now; a confident, passionate, authentic, and kind person."
Wanting to meet someone who’s in touch with their dreams is about character because accepting life as it is without continuing to dream suggests someone who feels their life won’t likely get better, not a good character quality.
A confident, passionate, authentic, kind person is entirely about strength of character, since each is a defined character quality.
I also stated:
“I'm emotionally available and know how to share my feelings with a woman."
This I was a statement about my emotional character. Emotional availability and the ability to share one’s feelings require strength of character as well as skills.
The Feminine View
One of my date coaching clients’ profiles demonstrates her character in several ways. She’s 67, and living a full life, while still hoping to share it with a man. Her entire profile is about character.
“While I’m not a Peter Pan, age hasn’t slowed me down".
This is a character statement about her youthful spirit. It points to a woman who’s neither old in mind or spirit, and who’s intent on not aging in either way.
“I’m healthy, cute/pretty, a redhead, a perfect size for most men, and an inveterate, intrepid adventurer with a passport and an eagerness to explore new places".
This character statement reflects a woman who has an adventurous spirit who seeks a man with the same character quality.
“My life is filled with friends, activities, and interests, and my match is a man with the same. I want a partner who’s also my best friend, lover."
The best friend statement is about character since the ability to be a friend as well as a lover is about someone who understands that the combination of friend and lover requires strong character and the absence of fear.
“I thoroughly enjoy being around upbeat people who understand what generosity of spirit means".
Generosity of spirit is entirely about character, and she’s letting men know that she values it in a relationship.
“Sex for me is about sharing the highest level of physical and emotional intimacy. I’m openhearted and I’m not jaded by any stretch. I’ve done my “work" and I have solid relationship skills".
She’s being clear that her character has been enhanced by the emotional work she’s done and her relationship skills are strong because of it. Being openhearted is also about character since it relates to emotional availability and vulnerability.
“I’m outgoing and a full package, and I’m an accomplished woman with a great capacity to love and nurture. My partner match knows how to be playful".
She backs up her full package statement with her character as an accomplished woman who has a developed capacity to love and nurture. And knowing how to be playful is also a positive character quality.
Leave No Doubt
It’s critical for senior men and women to demonstrate clearly in their profiles that they understand the significance of character, both theirs and the partner they’d like to meet.
Good character isn’t negotiable, and nothing substitutes for it. The stronger a person’s character the better the chance they’ll make a good life partner.
Look for the keywords that indicate character in a potential date’s profile, and be sure to use keywords that describe character in yours.
Character words: Honest, Loyal, Joyful, Accepting, Caring, Respectful, Compassionate, Generous, Gracious, Trusting, and Warm, to name a few.
Be certain to use appropriate character words or terms and look for a date with similar character qualities since he or she will likely be a good match.