I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
7 Simple Steps To Create The Perfect Relationship
By Ken Solin
Building a Senior Relationship
For seniors, creating a relationship doesn’t look much like it did when we were younger. A senior relationship that lasts a lifetime doesn’t mean what it did in terms of longevity, and since there are fewer distractions, such as raising children, a couple’s focus is on each other.
1. Finding Someone to Grow Old With
Seniors are seeking a life partner, someone to grow old with, to take care of, and be taken care of. While sex is certainly an important aspect of a senior relationship, the emotional aspect is critical.
Seniors need the comfort that a strong emotional connection offers in terms of feeling safe and loved. Both partners should have an emotional vocabulary and a willingness to listen to each other’s emotional needs.
2. Creating a Connection
Have frequent conversations about your feelings for each other. Be completely open and honest and translate those feelings into shared actions and experiences. What are you willing to do for each other on a daily basis that reflects your commitment to connecting? Remember, it takes time and a lot of listening to feel emotionally comfortable with each other. Don’t try to force it, as it will do more damage than good.
3. Opening Your Heart
Are you able to listen with an open heart? Can you hear your partner when he or she expresses their feelings, and withhold judgment or opinions? Can you respect differences regarding how you demonstrate your feelings for each other? Those are important questions to ask yourself. If you have the patience to truly listen and accept your partner for who they are, creating that special bond is very likely to happen.
4. Become Best Friends
Are you developing the best friend aspect of your relationship? This is essential for all relationships. The most successful relationships are couples that are best friends and lovers. Guide them through your thought process and don’t be afraid to expose your true self to them with time. This will help you with your intimacy and lead you to create your own world as a couple.
5. Earning Their Trust
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Are you building trust? As my mentor opined, “Where there’s no trust there’s no love.” Many of us have trust issues from previous relationships. It’s critical to let go of old feelings that interfere with trust. Talk about trust frequently to ensure you’re both on the same page about it. Listening to each other’s feelings without judgment builds trust.
6. Don’t Rush
Will you marry, live together, or continue dating and live apart? These are the choices seniors face, and many have their own homes. Living together or getting married means one person has to move into another’s home, or both partners need to find a home to share. Sharing an existing home can be complicated if a partner lived with someone else in it.
Dating and living apart, and spending several nights a week at each other’s homes is another alternative, and it’s one I’m currently doing with my partner. We’re talking about the next step, either living in her home, which is larger, or finding a new home together.
Living together isn’t a decision to be made quickly or taken lightly since it will have long-term ramifications. There’s no rush to decide.
7. Do What Feels Right
If you follow these tips, you will be on your way to building a truly healthy, loving and respectful relationship. Remember to always do what feels right to you and your partner. Follow your heart and be positive about the change in your life. If it makes you feel happy, a better person, accept it with open arms.
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