I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
Do You Believe Your One True Love Exists?
By Ken Solin
Is It True?
Lot of women I’ve date coached find it difficult to believe there really is someone for everyone online, and their fear is that they may be one of the seniors left standing without a chair when the music stops. In truth there’s some validity to this feeling, in terms of the disproportionate man/woman ratio online, but I’ll focus on the large number who do find love online. Online dating is a worthwhile pursuit unless you’re absolutely convinced that it’s just a game of musical chairs that depends on luck.
Some frustrated senior daters take false comfort in pointing out the obvious, which is that not everyone who dates online finds a partner. But there will always be winners and losers in every aspect of life, and online dating for seniors is no exception. But deciding to be a winner, which I define as having dates and finding a partner is a far more useful state of mind than holding onto negative beliefs and having a constant fear of meeting new people. Sure, online dating occasionally wears senior daters down, and if you feel you’re losing, take a break to revitalize your energy so you can renew your efforts.
Love Is In The Air
All seniors need do is look around wherever they go and notice that for the most part there actually is someone for everyone. Whatever your physical type, emotional intelligence, likes and dislikes, passions, politics, and other qualities, there’s someone who will love and appreciate you for each of them. Don’t believe me? Try popular dating sites like match.com, which based on your personal interests and preferences, can match potential partners you may have a lot to share with.
Suffice to say it’s critical for seniors to be realistic about dating online. If you’re in great physical shape, it’s realistic to insist potential dates also be in shape. If you have a university degree you’re more likely to relate well with someone who has a similar educational background. And potential dates should respect your posted age parameters as you’ve outlined them, although it’s reasonable to allow a few years either way. Rigidity isn’t a good quality.
If you understand the realities of online senior dating, in terms of meeting someone’s specified standards, you’re less likely to become bitter, angry, and discouraged, and your invitations won’t be ignored. In other words you won’t be left standing when the music stops. Seniors are far too smart and experienced to still have any delusions about love at first sight or that opposites attract is a smart dating strategy. Neither is realistic and only believed by the desperate and clueless.
Do You Know Who You Are?
As regards your intelligence, personality type and emotional intelligence, knowing who you are, is of the utmost importance if you hope to find a partner for a successful relationship. I always suggest my date coaching clients take as much time as they need to consider who they are in every respect since we’ve all experienced changes over the years. State who you are clearly in your online dating profile and look for the same in potential dates.
Find A Chair
No child ever liked the feeling associated with being left standing when the music stopped. We all wanted to find a chair and be a winner. And that feeling applies to senior daters today. It’s critical for seniors not to leave any blank spaces in their online profiles to improve their chances. The more effort and authenticity you put into your profile, the better your matches will be. It’s not that complicated and will definitely increase your chances to find love online.
Don’t write about all the clichés. Enjoying a glass of wine by the fire in winter, or taking long walks on the beach are the types of hackneyed information that nearly every senior dater has already shared. But the deeper you explain who you are and what you’re looking for in a partner, the smoother it will go toward figuring out who to email and whose emails you might want to answer.
It Isn’t Luck Alone
Forget the idea that online dating is anything like musical chairs. If you’re a senior who takes the same approach to dating as some other seniors, you’ll limit your chances for success. Of course online dating is a challenge, but there are too many seniors finding partners online to think that online dating is just luck. Your chances for finding a chair when the music stops increase significantly when you truly understand how online dating works.
Now that you know why the chances to find the One online are so high, check out the best dating site for seniors