Seniors need to feel safe dating online or they won’t fully engage in the process. Women in particular need to know the person they’re communicating with is the person he’s represented himself to...
7 Tips for Safe Senior Dating
By Ken Solin
Seniors need to feel safe dating online or they won’t fully engage in the process. Women in particular need to know the person they’re communicating with is the person he’s represented himself to be. While online dating is safe, it’s important to stay alert. Here’s how.
1. Gentlemen First
When you've exchanged emails with a senior prospect and you feel it's time to exchange phone numbers, the man should offer his phone number first. If he doesn't, the woman should ask him to. There are simply no valid reasons for a legitimately eligible man to withhold his telephone number, and if he does, that’s enough to make you feel unsafe. Think potential scam and give this guy a pass. Feeling uneasy? Check out these 5 types of online daters to avoid at all costs.
2. Pick a Safe Spot for a First Date
A busy cafe during the daylight hours is perfect. It may not be as intimate, but the ambient noise actually offers some anonymity and if an unpleasant situation happens to develop you'll be grateful to have a lot of people around. If your senior date refuses to meet at a cafe or insists on a less public place, tell him thanks but no thanks and move on.
3. Know When to Walk Away
I had a coffee date with a boomer woman who grew increasingly angry and vitriolic about mistreatment by an ex-boyfriend. And it became really unsettling when she turned her anger on me. In fact I became sufficiently concerned that I got up and left. I was grateful there was a small crowd in the cafe that witnessed my exit. At situations of continuous discomfort, don’t be afraid to just leave. Dating is all about enjoying your company and not feel threatened by it.
4. Call for Backup, Part 1
If a coffee date shows up with a bad attitude, a bad temper or a foul mouth, say no thanks and head for the door. Also look for the exit if he or she talks about becoming sexual after 15 minutes or attempts to corral you into a relationship. If you feel truly threatened, explain your concerns to the cafe manager and request they walk you to your car. Senior dating may not be simple or easy but it’s never supposed to be frightening.
5. A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
We were enjoying a second date at a restaurant when my date received a cellphone call during dinner. It was pretty obvious what was going on. "I'm fine and I’m having fun," she told the caller, then stowed the phone in her purse with an apologetic smile. "What would your friend have done if you hadn't picked up?" I asked her. "She had instructions to call the police," she replied. Good tip. Smart woman.
6. Ask the Right Questions.
If certain specific questions are asked they can reveal considerable information about someone in a short period of time even on a first date. For example, you might ask if your senior date has close friends: A "yes" indicates he or she is capable of connecting with others; a "no" suggests a lack of intimacy skills and/or trust issues.
7. Your Home is Your Safe Zone.
Safety is clearly a top priority for senior dating sites. Check out the safety features available on the top 5 senior dating sites to see which site satisfies your safety concerns.