What Your Orange is the New Black Crush Says About You


Orange is the New Black crushes and datingBy Kim Baker

Drama. Forbidden love. Betrayal.

No, it’s not a typical Friday night out at the club. It’s this season’s Orange is the New Black (OITNB) on Netflix. Criminal backgrounds aside, you can learn about what you’re drawn to in dating based on your Litchfield crush.

Whether it’s Piper’s obstinate determination to be top dog in the yard, or Suzanne’s quirky, detached from reality innocence, here are four OITNB crushes and what they say about your dating life.

1. Piper

If Piper’s blonde, sorority sister-like privilege and attempts to be a bad girl panty vendor appeal to you, you may experience the halo effect in dating. The halo effect is when a woman’s physical beauty, usually in the traditional, blonde/blue/thin/tan sense, along with some perceived idea of her innocence and perfect personality lead you to give her a virtual stamp of perfection – or halo. The upside of this dating tendency is, of course, maintaining a high level of optimism in dating, and seeing the best in the women you date. The downside of wearing colored glasses about your haloed Piper-chic is that you may have a tendency to fall for straight women, or miss some dating red flags.

Piper and the halo effect

2. Alex

With her mysterious allure and witty sarcasm, if you’re crushing on Alex it can only mean one of two things. Either you have an attraction to bad girls, the ones who are unavailable, who push you away and pull you back in, or you fall for the archetype of the smart chic. With her glasses and biting humor it’s easy to assume she just needs to find the right girl to settle down. In some cases, these Alex-like girls may be smart and quirky, but watch out - sometimes the bad girl really is the bad girl and your best bet is to stay clear (and certainly not agree to move drugs for her).

3. Poussey

If Poussey’s shy swagger and southern “gentlewomanliness” are your cup of tea, you may fall for women who are a little bit of a player on the outside, but all teddy bear on the inside. Beyond the ability to work a room, the girl for you is smart and has a big heart. A big plus to dating a Poussey-like woman is that she’s likely to treat you well, offer romantic gestures, and profess her love. The only drawback is that sometimes the sensitive teddy bear gets her feelings hurt but does not communicate it well and hides behind her player persona.

4. Suzanne

With her fierce loyalty and highly intelligent, yet slightly delusional, perspective, Suzanne’s consistent romanticism may mean you’re attracted to hopelessly hippy types. The ones who have three college degrees but can’t seem to hold down a job. These free spirits can be intoxicating, and their spontaneity a breath of fresh air. But Suzanne-chicks sometimes also come with baggage – the literal and metaphorical kind – messy apartments, living out of garbage bags, and restraining orders from previous partners who didn’t think her stalking was cute.

Whether you’re drawn to the white-washed halo types, the bad girl, the southern gentlewoman, or the more intense yet out of touch with reality type of woman, who you are crushing on in this season of OITNB can tell you a lot about who you are in the dating world.

When it comes to your OITNB crush and who you are drawn to in dating, by staying authentic in who you are, regardless of your type, you will be more likely to attract the right woman for you. For more online dating advice, check out our expert tips on lesbian dating.

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