You’ve been dating for a while, it’s been going great, you talk everyday and really feel like you’re not just dating anymore, you act and feel like a couple. But how do you make it official? How do...
Making a Lesbian Dating Profile that Pops
For many lesbian singles, online dating has become the number one way to find love and romance. It allows women to avoid common pitfalls, such as being set up with someone simply because they are also a lesbian or not knowing to what degree our gaydar is accurate.
Finding compatible dates and ultimately love, on a dating site, depends largely on having a profile that stands out from the crowd. The following is our ultimate guide to creating a lesbian dating profile. Once you know all there is to know about creating a profile, get started on one of our recommended best lesbian dating sites.
Choosing the Right Picture
Picking a photo for your dating profile is worth putting effort into, as it’s the first thing women will see when viewing your profile. The style of profile picture you choose should be connected to the type of relationship you are looking for.
According to a recent study by Match.com, the majority of lesbian singles using online dating sites are looking for long term commitment, which includes marriage and kids. Therefore, unless a woman is expressly looking for something casual, a “sexy photo” may turn away potential matches. Instead, research has shown that the most effective way to get attention from photos is to follow the following guidelines:
Upload more than one photo
One photo is never enough. If it’s an attractive picture, it makes women wonder whether it’s your only good photo. If it’s bad, it gives users no alternative to look at - increasing the chances they will swipe on. Based on Zoosk findings, the best option is to upload a few different photos. Users shouldn’t make the mistake of putting their best photo first. It should be mixed into the batch so that the first impression isn’t followed by a swift change of mind.
Get the lighting right
The vast majority of terrible profile pics are the result of bad lighting. Don’t use a camera flash, which can give red eye or cause a washed-out look. Photos should be taken during the daytime, when there is an abundance of natural light or outside toward twilight when the light suits most skin tones.
Avoid using group photos
Putting up pictures with friends and family might prove that the user is not a loner, but it also means women have to search for their potential match hidden amongst a crowd. While they’re wondering which ones are ex-girlfriends and being distracted by cute pets and children, their attention is likely to wane from the important matter at hand.
Show your personality through your pics
The relationship seeker should take heed of the idiom, “a picture’s worth a thousand words.” Elements can be added into photos that tell more about the person, and perhaps attract women with common interests and personality. Comfortable clothes should be worn, such as t-shirts with a favorite band name, or something that the profile holder feels passionately about, like a feminist slogan. Props can help convey more of a personal story as well, like a camera for those into photography, or a guitar for music enthusiasts.
About Me: How Much Information Should You Disclose?
One of the biggest questions that lesbians have when creating a profile, is whether they should be mysterious or honest. While many women will say they want honesty from the outset, how much is too much before the potential partners have even learned each other’s first names?
The answer to mystery vs honesty is simple. Both! When a woman is reading a profile, she wants to find out something real about the writer, but she’s also happy to leave some things to date #1, or even date #20. Match.com experts agree that there’s no rule that says everything has to be put out there in a user’s profile, but too little information about one's self is likely to turn users off.
Generic personality traits and interests such as ‘Kind’ ‘Funny’ ‘Sensitive’ ‘Likes Cooking’ don’t tell the reader anything about the person. An introduction such as, “I once spent an hour trying to track down a homeless guy I’d seen on my way back to my apartment to give him some homemade tomato soup. It turned out he was allergic to tomato,” shows all of those personality traits and hobbies as well, but in a much more interesting fashion. The reader now knows a story about the woman, has something that can help strike up a conversation, and has been shown in what way the writer’s kind and sensitive nature comes out.
Negative feelings should be kept out of a profile. It is not the proper setting to reveal such thoughts. This may seem like obvious advice, but the following are some common negative thoughts which creep into far too many dating profiles:
1. I can’t believe I’m using an online dating site
Disparaging online dating sites when the women reading the profile are using online dating sites is ill-advised. They’re now the most popular way to find love and relationships. Zoosk has over 13 million members. Continuing to put some kind of stigma on it will result in nothing but eye rolls.
2. I don’t really know what to put here
If we think about the meaning behind this, it’s a huge turn off. Women are being asked to describe themselves, to say a bit about their likes and interests, and this writer has nothing to say? This is taking up real estate on the user’s profile page in which they could be including exciting stories, interesting anecdotes and confidently told information about what makes them tick.
3. I’m a bit of a mess at relationships
Self deprecation should be avoided at all costs. No one is signed up to an online dating site because they have a great relationship already; everyone is single! Whatever baggage is in a person’s past is better saved for a date further down the line, and certainly shouldn’t be shared while one is attempting to make a good first impression.
4. I’m really bad at this part
Why not let the other women be the judge of that? No one is brilliant at online dating profiles. It can be changed up every few weeks with current information and new photos, or have quotes and stories added to make the user more personable. Lesbian singles reading how “terrible” a woman is before they’ve even said hi will immediately run in the opposite direction.
5. Here we go again
Statements of this kind will only serve to encourage women to see the profile holder as a serial loser in love. Even if this is love for the eighth time around, it doesn’t need to be displayed on the profile. This kind of heading also makes it seem like the woman has given up, and is feeling jaded about the whole experience.
Answering Profile Questions
As soon as women land on a lesbian dating site like Compatible Partners, they want to immediately check out the singles. However, taking the time to answer profile questions is well worth the effort and can avoid wasting time in the future getting to know someone who is clearly incompatible. For example, a quick check of someone’s profile might reveal that she has 3 kids when the reader doesn’t want any, or that a relationship is out of the question, as the profile holder says they would never relocate.
A nifty profile trick is to ask questions cleverly in the section reserved for answering profile questions. Giving other ladies some questions to answer back can be a cute and effective way of piquing interest. For example, while filling in a profile box in which the user is prompted to discuss restaurants and food they enjoy, they might enter, “Guess which food item is America’s #1 comfort food and yet I can’t stand?,” as opposed to merely answering, “I can’t stand pizza.”
Another method for sparking interest and conversation is to call on lesbian singles to ask about stories which the profile holder enjoys telling. Comments such as, “Ask me about the time I got arrested at Macy’s” or “Ask me why I’m afraid of helicopters,” can be a fun and simple ice breaker.
Describing Your Ideal Woman
A common area of the profile with which singles struggle is the section in which they have to describe their ideal woman. According to Zoosk findings, common issues revolve around:
Being Too Vague
I’m looking for a nice woman who wants to have some fun.
That’s a shame, because this lesbian dating website is full of horrible men who hate joy. We’re kidding, but come on. Everyone is looking for nice. Everyone is looking for fun. Relationship seekers should try something less generic, such as, “I’m looking for someone who helps old folks with shopping, but still gets the odd bout of road rage, and whose idea of fun is active sports followed by large slices of cake.”
Being Too Specific
I only date brunettes who are athletic looking, and live within 5-10 miles. Prefer someone who also works in finance, likes Thai food, and has no pets.
Oh, is that all? Most of those things won’t help form a relationship with someone, and they just make the writer look overly picky. Users should try to keep physical appearance off of their wishlists, as most people can never tell what they will find attractive. The profile holder must keep in mind that finding a woman with different interests can open her up to a whole new side of life that she may have never experienced, and that means she can also share the things that she loves.
Being Too Negative
No drama or crazy women please, and no liars.
Just as someone writing a profile should be positive when describing themselves, they would find more success keeping positive when describing their ideal woman. Instead of asking for “no liars,” she might try explaining how much she values honesty. A profile holder mentioning that she doesn’t want drama, simply makes her sound like the kind of woman who attracts a ton of drama.
The Bottom Line
Building a profile on a lesbian dating site can often feel like an obstacle in the way of meeting some great women. But those who take the time to fill in all the sections won’t regret it. Choosing the right photos, crafting a great About Me section, answering the profile questions openly and with forethought, and describing what kind of woman would make the profile holder stop in their tracks are keys to success. We guarantee that following these steps will make the relationship seeker far better equipped to make the right connection with the woman of her dreams.