Gay Dating Etiquette 101: Your Questions Answered


Gay dating etiquette 101: questions

Thanks to the popularity of online gay dating sites and apps that cater specifically to the gay community, finding a good match is easier now than it's ever been. However, there are still some key steps that you must take in order to ensure that you fulfill the promise of that match by successfully moving matters forward when you meet face-to-face. 

The leading dating sites, such as, help you out by allowing for good communication, through channels such as video chat, prior to the first in-person encounter. However, knowing the rules of gay dating etiquette is still necessary and will help ensure that you get the most out of your online match. So, what are the key questions that need answering before you go for that first date? Let's take a look.


Where Do You Two Meet?

If this is a first date, especially if you met online and you don’t really know each other yet, you might want to meet at a coffee shop, something low key and light. Obviously, don’t take him to your favorite one, because if anything goes wrong you want to be able to keep going there.

You could also always decide to meet up at an outdoor mall or a downtown area and pick a place to go. A light lunch or a walk in the park could always be a good idea and give you plenty of time to get to know each other better and feel your chemistry.

It’s important to remember that unless he asked you on a date and mentioned a specific plan, don’t assume he’s picked a place to go for your date. Be prepared to give some ideas.

Who Pays?

Never mind his ego, your ego, or his wallet. Basic gay dating etiquette 101 dictates that if you ask someone out, you are offering to pay.

That being said, it could get a little tricky and if he’s the one who asked you out on the date, don’t assume he’ll pay. It will be very confusing, not to mention awkward, for the both of you if he wasn’t prepared to pick up the whole tab. Bring enough to cover yourself and then some. If you feel as if you need to contribute financially, you could always offer to leave a tip.

If your financial situation is not that great and a fancy place is out of the question, don’t worry. Many dating sites, like EliteSingles​, allow you to search among other users in a certain income bracket. Money doesn’t buy happiness, and it certainly doesn’t buy love, but financial security is extremely important to a lot of people.

Visit EliteSingles

To Kiss or Not to Kiss?

There is no hard and fast rule on this. If you feel awkward about it, a simple goodbye or goodnight kiss won’t break any rules, but use good judgment and follow your instincts. Be sensitive to your date’s body language. Would he be okay with it? Examine your own motives. Do you want to tell him you had a good time? Or are you slightly desperate for him to ask you out again and you’re hoping to seal the deal with a kiss?

A kiss is an exchange of affection, a moment where you both feel a great desire to connect. If you judge that the relationship is far enough along for a kiss, go ahead; as long as you don’t take it too far, this isn’t breaking any gay dating rules.

Who Calls First?

There isn’t a specific answer to this question, but if you had a great time then let him know! If you haven’t set a second date, and the first one went well, this gives you the perfect opportunity to do so. If he calls you it most likely means he had a great time, and if you did, too, great! Use this opportunity to set the second date. If you don’t really want a repeat date, don’t call or wait until he calls you. If he does, be clear and don’t string him along. Remember the Golden Rule and treat him the way that you’d want to be treated.

Keep Your Intimacy Safe

If the relationship is evolving, there are some serious questions that should be raised in regards to sex. That being said, there are appropriate and respectful ways to ask a person about their medical history. Asking someone about health-related issues and STDs is an exceptionally hard question to ask; however, to protect yourself, it is something you should really consider.

The timing is key here and you should wait until you develop a more stable relationship - you shouldn’t be getting physical before then anyway. Unfortunately, this is not the sort of conversation that will arise naturally. You’ll need to broach the subject yourself. Be clear and direct about what you’re talking about, however, don’t insult him by asking him bluntly, like “Have been tested recently?” Hands down, the best way to handle this topic is to suggest going to a clinic or doctor to get tested together.

In Short

If you’re considering the dating scene, settle two things with yourself before you ask anyone out. First, remember to just be yourself. Trying to change for your potential date will be disastrous, both for you and for your relationship. Whoever is not ready to meet you as yourself is not the man for you.

Second, if you ask anyone out or if you are asked out, remind yourself that courtesy and politeness are basics for any relationship. Try not to be too anxious while on your date, channel that energy into listening, expressing yourself and making that date work. If you follow these gay dating rules, listen, and treat the other guy with respect, the date will go smoothly and you’re both bound to have a great time together. If you’re still a little nervous, it’s fine. You can always read our advice on how to break the ice on the first date.

You’ve gotten some good answers to the hard questions, so what are you waiting for? Find other singles in your area today with the right online dating site for you .

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