8 Signs That He’s Just Not Into Serious Gay Dating


Gay first date advice: watch out for these signs!

By Top10BestDatingSites Staff

Going on a first date can be a bit of a challenge. This is particularly true for gay men who are new to the dating scene or have been off the market for a while. If you are interested in someone, don’t let your attraction to that person cloud your judgement. Take some gay first date advice from the professionals. Whether you are looking to find someone to casually date or your Mr. Perfect for a gay dating long term relationship, this is our list of the 8 ways to know if a guy might not be that into you.

1. He’s Into Himself, Like REALLY Into Himself

Finding out that your date is narcissistic is not always clear before the first date. However, it soon becomes evident in conversation. If they would rather talk about themselves, what they have and what they can do more than anything else, which should set off red flags.

It becomes clearer if he’s not a good listener. If he’s the kind of date who gets bored when he’s not the topic of conversation, or who interrupts your stories to say that they “relate to him perfectly," to put it simply, he’s into himself.

2. He’s Into His Ex

If you find out that your date is someone who has just left a gay dating long-term relationship (or is still within six months of the break-up), be understanding, but be practical. When he starts talking about his ex, or comparing you to his ex, tell yourself that he might just not be that into you, at least for the moment.

It is slightly awkward to sit through a first date and be told, “This is my favorite restaurant. I took my ex here all the time." Whoever you are dating, even if you like him, remind yourself that you are not just a rebound date--you deserve more than that.

gay dating long term relationship avoidance

3. He’s Into His Smartphone

First of all, checking Facebook and Twitter regularly while sitting with someone else is rude, on any level. He’s not a close friend, who can probably check his Facebook right under your nose, but someone who should be trying to make a great first impression.

Etiquette on first dates would state that updating a social media account while he is with you would tell you that he is not considerate of your time or feelings. Moreover, it’s only going downhill from here. Don’t immediately fear that you are boring him. If he is more committed to entertaining himself than to making the first date work out, he’s not worth your time.

We get the desire of having your cell phone out on a date, we are a society that has become addicted, but the trick is to use your technological gadgets before the date, not during. Gay single sites like Zoosk, the winner of the 2015 Most Innovative Award, for its ease of mobile access and integration with social media, allow men to easily weed out individuals ensuring success in their first date. That being said, once the date starts, leave your phone in your pocket!

4. He’s Into Parties or Excessive Drinking on the First Date

If your date suggests going to a club or bar on the first date, he might be more into having a good time than making the first date blossom into a relationship. Worse, he might only have agreed to the date so that he would have someone to be his plus-one.

If he would rather not have coffee or dinner, listen to your warning sirens. Let all of your warning bells go off especially if he is drinking a lot, too. If he wants a good time, don’t let him make you deal with a drunk date. In other words, if he is more into waking up hungover, not remembering anything from the night before, he’s just not that into you.

5. He’s Into His Ego

This trait is not instantly noticeable, but once it rears its ugly head there is no missing it. You are on your first date, so he’s got his best foot forward with you. Therefore, watch how he treats people that he’s not trying to impress. Is he rude or inconsiderate to the waiter taking your orders, or to the parking attendants? Does he complain loudly about service as if he can’t be heard? He’s a jerk--no other way around it.

He’s into his ego or his personal sense of importance. He’s nice now, but watch out: if you get caught in the cross-fire or accidentally annoy him, he will be more interested in putting you in your place than in fixing the problem. In other words, he’s more interested in making sure he feels important than he is on focusing on you and the potential relationship.

6. He’s Into the Attractive Guys Around You

Watch your date’s eyes (and not because they’re so dreamy…)! They might be wandering excessively. It doesn’t matter where you are. If he allows his eyes to linger on guys to the right and to the left of you all night long, cut him loose.

7. He’s Into Hooking Up

That’s a realization that hurts at any point of the date, and there’s no amount of gay first date advice that can prepare you for this. It’s a lot worse if you already met him and enjoyed yourself, found many shared interests, maybe even a shared sense of humor. However, the moment his hands start to wander without your explicit permission, reassess.

If he wants to hook-up on the first date, he might be the kind of man who is into short term relationships, not gay dating long term relationships. He’s not into you, he’s into the physical relationship. If that’s not what you’re looking for, don’t let it go further.

8. He’s Into Changing You Already

If you meet up and the first thing he does is try to offer you ways in which you should change your appearance or how to properly drink your wine, resist the urge to show how annoyed you are.

If he wants to know if you ‘fit’ him, not if you can get along together as a couple, that is a problem. Feelings of compatibility have to be mutual. If you feel like you will become his next “possession," unfortunately he might not be that into you.

That’s why it is important to spend some time utilizing your gay singles sites. Gay online dating websites, like match.com, allow you the opportunity to really get to know someone before the first date. This way, the first date isn’t so much about seeing if you are compatible with someone but creating great memories with that person.

Bottom line: if he is into you, you will feel it. He will be as committed to making the first date work as you are. He will want to take time to establish your shared interests and hobbies. If he seems a bit odd—that’s normal as most of us are nervous on a first date. That is completely different from him not being into you. With this gay first date advice, you will now be able to easily spot when a guy isn’t really that into you.

If you’re tired of wasting your time with guys that aren’t serious or not really into you, get serious and find your perfect, CompatiblePartner.

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