The 5 Questions on Online Gay Dating That You Were Too Afraid to Ask


Taking on the world of gay online dating can be scary for the inexperienced, but we're here to guide your way through. We have taken the more difficult and anonymous questions that have come in from gay men interested in online dating, in hopes that it can help many others who have similar fears. And with that, we present you with the five questions that you were too afraid to ask about gay online dating.

1. I haven't come out to family and friends yet. Can I join gay dating sites without disclosing my private information and pictures?

Yes, you can join a gay dating site without adding a picture or any personal information that would be visible to other users. You will need to include your email to sign-up and possibly credit card information if you signed up to a paid subscription, but these will not be accessible to other users.

However, you need to take into account that online dating (and dating in general) is a very visual activity and most men will be hesitant or uninterested in approaching you without a profile photo. As an alternative, you can send your picture through private message once you start conversations with men on the dating site.

2. No one is contacting me. What am I doing wrong?

Answering this question will take some self-reflection: what are you displaying in your profile and what are you missing? Is there anything there that could be offensive or discouraging men from contacting you through the site? Are your pictures clear and showing your best side? Does your personality shine through your profile?

The best way to figure out what is not working is through trial-and-error. Change things in your profile while remaining true to yourself, and test for any changes in responsiveness. Don't be afraid to initiate contact with other men instead of waiting to be contacted. The best way to get attention is by giving attention.

3. Can I find love in gay dating sites, or are members only interested in hookups?

Don't be discouraged by online dating users who are interested in hookups. Nowadays, there is no better place to find love than online. Online dating sites give you the best variety of possibilities, allowing you to meet a diversity of men who are also interested in finding love.

Steer clear of the better known "hookup apps" like Tinder or Grindr; aim instead for more relationship-focused dating sites like or Zoosk. Try to avoid online daters who are looking for sex rather than love. Many times, this is clear from the get-go on their profile, and if not, it will be clear in their initial conversation. Your best bet is to join the most popular gay dating sites so you can increase your potential to meet that someone special.

Man holding roses and gift for gay online date

4. I've heard a lot about catfishing. What is it and can it happen to me on a gay dating site?

"Catfishing" is when a person fabricates a fake online identity to trick people into an emotional or romantic relationship. Catfishing is relatively easy to do. All it takes is creating a username in an online dating site and uploading someone else's photos, which are easily available online on social media profiles.

So the answer is yes - catfishing can indeed happen to us all and it certainly happens in gay dating sites, but there are ways to catch on fast and end it before becoming emotionally involved.

For example, if after numerous conversations, the online dater refuses to video chat, speak on the phone, or meet in person, there is a chance that they are not the man you see in the dating profile. They may be hiding a foreign accent or look completely different. You can also go to Google images, drag-and-drop their photos into the search bar, and see if the pictures are found in any other profiles or websites online.

5. I use a shared computer. I don't want other users to know my activity on gay online dating sites. Can I hide this information from them?

Yes – but you have to be meticulously careful about doing so. Anytime you arrive to a page on your browser, it's saved in your history and cache. To avoid this and ensure that you are browsing through the dating site privately, you can use the private browsing option of your browser. The browser won't save any information about where you go, what you're searching for, or what you're typing, so those using the shared computer will not see it either. Make sure to close your private browsing window once you're done and no one will be the wiser that you signed up to a gay dating site.

To open a private window in your browser:

Chrome: Press "Ctrl+Shift+N" on your keyboard

Firefox: Press "Ctrl+Shift+P" on your keyboard

Internet Explorer: Press "Ctrl+Shift+P" on your keyboard

Opera: Select "Tabs and Windows > New Private Window"

Feeling more confident about joining an online dating site? Take the leap - join a safe gay dating site like Compatible Partners and find your match worry-free.

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