Gay Breakup Etiquette: How to Reject a Second Date While Keeping Things Civil


Rejecting a second gay date

One of the most difficult aspects to dating is the dreaded and uncomfortable moment of rejection. Unfortunately, it’s a necessary challenge to experience in the dating game, whether you are doing the rejecting or receiving it. After all, not all first dates will work out smoothly nor does great online chemistry mean that once meeting your gay date in person, the chemistry will transfer to the real world. If you don’t want to be responsible for severely hurting your date’s feelings, here are some helpful tips on how to kindly decline a second date and walk away guilt-free.

Men not getting along in their first gay date

Mull it Over

Once your first date is over, spend some time thinking about the next step. If you don’t want to pursue matters any further, put some thought into how and when you would like to reject the possibility of a second date. Would you prefer to let him know post-haste or wait until he brings it up? Is it possible that he too felt the same way about your first gay date? In these situations, there is no correct path but to follow your own instinct.

Be Polite & Gentle

When it comes to dating, people are putting themselves out there, so it’s important to be considerate and kind to the man you are rejecting. There are many ways you can let him down gently without crushing his self-esteem or being the ‘talk of the town’ in the gay community. Make sure to call or text your date within two days, or alternatively, send them a message through the dating site. Some of these sites, including have app versions available, so you can even send a message straight after your date. Say something like, “I had a nice time on our date, but the chemistry wasn’t quite right. I wish you all the best in finding your match!"

Be Honest

There’s nothing worse than a rejection that comes off as an excuse. We have all heard them before: “I’m too busy right now", “I’m going on vacation for the next few weeks", and so on. These pseudo-rejections can lead to the other person thinking that they’re going on a gay date with you again - as soon as you’re available, that is. Instead, take the path of honesty and express that you are flattered, but just not interested.

Try a Compliment Sandwich

Another great way to turn down a second gay date is to soften the blow with a kind, but truthful compliment. Let your date know why they are great, followed by a polite rejection of the invitation to a second date, and then follow it up with a second, positive compliment. For example, you can try something like, “I had a fun time with you, but I don’t see a romantic future for us. You’re such a great guy, and I would love to continue our friendship." This way, you can alleviate the awkwardness for everyone involved while giving them a small confidence boost.

So your last date was a failure? You could use the Scientific Matchmaking Service by Zoosk. Let the algorithm find a better match for you!

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