Why the Bible Says Wait for Marriage: A Biological Perspective

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By Shawn Orsagh

The first thing I think about when I think of the word sex is Salt and Pepa’s song “Let’s Talk About Sex.” If you are too young to know the song, just Google it. You’re missing out because the song encouraged people to “talk about all the good things and bad things it (sex) could be.”

However, I grew up in church and sex was not talked about. It was a black or white thing. If you’re not married, you shouldn’t be having sex. If you are having sex and you aren’t married, you are going to hell. It was that simple.

Nonetheless, times have changed and we live in a sex craved generation. Let’s face it - Sex sales and you can’t turn on a prime time sitcom without someone having sex. The lines have even been blurred within the Christian community because even Christians are more inclined to have sex before marriage and it’s not completely frowned upon. For years, I couldn’t understand why the Bible said it was wrong and no one could really explain it to me. If you are like me, I just can’t accept don’t do it, I need to know the why.

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.” - Romans 1:24

My curiosity on why sex outside of marriage is wrong drew me to the word of God. During my reading it always came to it defiling the body. I studied human sexuality during my Masters, so I understood what happens to the body during sex, but it still didn’t make sense to me.

What is Joined Together Let No Man Separate

The beauty of sex is that it activates the brain’s reward center making it the ultimate happy pill. For ladies, during sex the cuddle hormone, Oxycontin, is released and lowers our defense mechanisms. This release makes us trust people more and is the key to bonding because it increases compassion.

That means that our brain tricks us into falling in love, whether the person is a one night stand or our spouse. You ever wonder why you continue a relationship past its expiration date? Blame the Oxycontin that gets released in your brain. Your brains and emotions have bonded and breaking the connection goes against what the body was intended to do.

Christian couple

Pleasure Principle

For men sex is different. Dopamine, the pleasure hormone, is released. Even during the pursuit of sex the limbic area is taking in an overflow of dopamine which is at the center of looking for and adoring pleasure. The increase in dopamine in the brain before, during, and after sex is what makes men crave more sex and this is also the reason why men love the chase are more prone to becoming sex addicts. So ladies, what that means is, while you are falling in love, men are just enjoying the pleasure of sex.

Attached but Not Committed

If that seems a little off balance that’s because it is. Sex was meant to solidify the bond between man and woman after marriage which is why people consummate their marriage after the wedding vows. It makes the bond official.

What’s going on when you have sex outside of marriage and why the bible calls it a sin against the body is because you are rewiring the brain and strengthening neural pathways. The more you have sex outside of marriage the more your brain is trained to think sex outside of marriage is okay. It becomes normal.

As much as some people want sex just to be a physical act, it is also an emotional bonding experience that happens to the brain and body and affects our emotions. As Christians, we are called to be more than just emotional physical beings. We are called to be Christ-like and live for a higher purpose. That’s why 1 Corinthians 9:27 says we are to discipline our bodies and keep it under control so that we aren’t disqualified after preaching to others.

Are you looking for a partner who wants to wait until marriage? Then join a Christian online dating site today to find your other half.



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