5 Questions to Ask Before Meeting Someone Offline


By Shawn Orsagh

Many new dating apps are as simple as a left or right swipe. With this type of quick decision making, it’s hard to know if someone is really interested in getting to know you or if you are just a quick swipe of the finger. Time is precious, and the last thing you want to do is waste time on someone who isn’t looking for the same type of relationship that you are. So, how do you avoid time wasters? By dating smart and asking these key questions before meeting someone offline.

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What are you looking for in a relationship?

When coaching clients through online dating, the most important thing to know is intention. Whether you are looking for something long-term or you are casually dating, you never know how a relationship will turn out - so it’s important to be honest. It sets the right foundation for the future of the relationship.

What is your relationship like with God?

Whether you are on a Christian dating site or not, knowing a person’s relationship with God tells you a lot about who they are and if they are a good match for you spiritually. As a Christian dating coach I have seen many clients enter relationships with people who weren’t a good match for them spiritually, and the relationship ends because they were unequally yoked. For a woman, asking a man what his relationship is like with God is like asking, “How do you plan on leading me?” For men, it’s “what type of help mate will you be.” The thing is, the answer may not be indicative of how they will grow spiritually. It will tell you where the person is presently, and if it’s a good fit for where you are, spiritually.

What is your relationship like with your family?

This is my favorite question to ask because family is very important to me. For me, knowing how someone treats his mother and father tells me how he is going to treat me in the relationship. From my own dating experience, and from years of listening to others’ dating experience, a person’s relationship with their parents can tell a lot about how they see love and relationships. I’ve seen it be a reflection of how they fight, manage money, and it speaks to their ability to commit, making this an excellent starter question.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

This is a fun question. It gives you an idea of how they spend their free time, revealing any shared interests. I like asking this question because it gives a hint into the type of adventures that might be in your shared future.

What about my profile made you write me?

I once had a client who went on a date with a man who was charming and fun. They had a great conversation that she gushed about in session. After digging a little deeper, she realized that he spent the majority of their time together talking about himself. He asked little to nothing about her. So on the second date, I encouraged her to ask him what he knew about her and what made him interested in her in the first place. He had no answer. She came to find out that she was one of many who responded to his generic email on his quest to “just get to know people.” She could have avoided this “time waster” by asking one simple question: what about my profile intrigued you? If she would have asked, she would have known whether or not he was interested enough to even read her profile.

While these questions won’t tell you everything you need to know about a person, they will provide foundational conversation for a great first date that could possibly lead to a second date.

Read our reviews of the top dating sites for Christian singles to get started on finding a match who shares your beliefs. 

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