It's a fairly common situation, but one that can present you with an awkward dilemma – an unsuccessful Christian date. We’ve all been there before right? You meet someone online through a dating...
You, God and the Art of Multi-Dating In The Christian World
By Top10BestDatingSites Staff
What’s the deal with multi-dating in the Christian community? Is it ethical to continue to search for other dates after your first date with someone? Would you personally be offended if someone did the same to you? Before we dive into all these questions, let’s define the term first.
What Is Multi-Dating?
For the uninitiated, the term multi-dating refers to the practice of dating more than one person simultaneously. For some people, this may be a less familiar approach to dating, but it can be a very good way for us to achieve our goal of finally meeting our ideal match. For instance, dating multiple people can benefit you by improving your communication skills with different personality types. In turn, you are positively challenging yourself to stay open to options you may have not considered at first. And perhaps most importantly, the continuous exploration allows you to truly examine the compatibility with the others. That way, you to keep from committing too soon, before it’s appropriate to.
Is Multi-Dating Considered Cheating or Exploring?
The issue of multi-dating may make a practicing Christian with an interest in online dating ask themselves, “Is multi-dating considered cheating or exploring?” When it comes to relationships, it’s our INTENTIONS that really give shape and definition to our interactions. The challenge is to weave Christian values of respectfulness, compassion, integrity, and human decency together in a way that is honest. If we can succeed in being honest with ourselves about what those intentions are, and learning to communicate those intentions to the people we are dating, we will be well on the way to building the framework for healthy interpersonal interactions. Simply put, we need to figure out where we stand, and let others know in a way that is kind and considerate. We need to take responsibility for our needs and desires, and, if possible, avoid hurting another person in the process.
Don’t Follow the Social Title, Follow Your Emotion
Firstly, let’s look at levels of commitment in a relationship. Healthy adults would not automatically consider themselves “in” an official relationship after the first date. Sure, after a few dates, there is usually some kind of discussion about how each side feels about the way things are progressing. If you’ve gone on a number of dates with someone and it feels like it’s getting a bit more serious, you may want to open up a conversation about where you two are at. At what point does the connection between you and the person you’re casually dating graduate to a “relationship?” Have the two of you discussed whether or not each of you is still seeing other people? It’s never too early to initiate honest communication. It sets a very healthy precedent! If you feel comfortable enough on the first date, you may decide to broach the subject of online dating ethics, just for fun. See what your date has to say. This may lead to a better understanding of his or her intentions, and give you better clarity on your own.
Discuss the True Intentions Behind Your Relationship
The very nature of online dating helps to clarify the motivations and intentions of the singles involved. Assuming both sides are honestly and truthfully representing themselves on their online Christian dating profiles, it’s easy to see who is looking for a serious relationship, and who isn’t. Many people who date more than one person simultaneously are in fact taking “finding Mr. or Ms. Right” more seriously. Multi dating in the Christian community is often a sign that the quest to find one’s future spouse is a high priority. Believing Christians want to be efficient as they search for their life partner. And with the help of great dating websites such as Zoosk and match.com, many have been able to find like-minded Christians online and develop strong relationships
Multi dating in the Christian community is acceptable and appropriate if both parties feel okay about it. It really is all about transparency. Be appropriate, honest and communicate your feelings. When everyone involved in the process is clear on the intentions and motivations, multi dating for Christians is definitely appropriate and a great way to find your loved one.
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