It's a fairly common situation, but one that can present you with an awkward dilemma – an unsuccessful Christian date. We’ve all been there before right? You meet someone online through a dating...
Top 7 Conversations to Have Before You Commit to Happily Ever After
By Top10BestDatingSites Staff
You’ve been on a few dates with the person of your dreams and things are going well. Using an online dating site, like ChristianMingle, you’ve found someone you deem physically attractive; you perused their hobbies and interests, finding someone who had a lot in common with you; you spent some time getting to know them online, the real them...not the online dating profile them; and you’ve now gone on many successful dates. You are ready to go from Christian dating to relationship, a full blown, completely devoted, head over heels relationship.
The two of you are talking about the future of your relationship and you are ready to commit to each other. Before you do, however, there are many aspects of the exclusive relationship that need to be discussed. Often times we fall in love with someone and make assumptions as to how we think life will play out. Take the guesswork out of your future with these 7 conversations.
1. Your Money is My Money, Right?
Either you just read this heading and thought to yourself: “That’s a given...of course we will share money" or “Are you kidding me?! My money is my money, and yours is yours!" However, more importantly than what you’re thinking: What is your partner thinking?
With money being the number one cause of divorce, a couple deciding how money might be handled in their relationship should be one the most important conversation to have before a commitment is made.
When it comes to money, it isn’t enough to just discuss whether or not you’ll have separate banking accounts or what sort of retirement you want to share, but you need to discuss current debts as well.
2. The 9-5
Often times, until we live with someone and share a life with them, we don’t think about how our jobs could directly or indirectly affect the person we are dating both on a personal level and in a relationship. If you have goals and aspirations of advancing in your career, you may need to decide whether or not you’re willing to put your ambitions aside for love.
If your job or future career might lead to a lot of traveling or time away from home, or possibly require working nights, weekends, and holidays, this is an important conversation to have before committing to a relationship.
3. Ideologies and Religions
Your religious beliefs and Christian commitment are paramount - and whether your partner says so or not, their religious convictions are important to them, too. It is essential to discuss what church you might attend and how often you’ll go. Additionally, if you aren’t the same denomination (or even the same religion), you’ll need to decide if someone is willing to change their religious ideologies in pursuit of love.
Because it is so hard to back out of a relationship once you’ve committed to each other and fallen in love, it is important to discuss this early so you aren’t forced to choose between love and religion.
Using search algorithms on dating sites like match.com will allow you to ensure that you are dating someone who not only shares your same interests, but even your same religion. These dating websites have such sophisticated profile-searching tools that they can not only filter for other Christians, but for specific Christian denominations.
4. Child, Children, or None of the Above
This can be a deal breaker for a lot of couples. It is extremely important that during this conversation you are open and honest. There is nothing more detrimental to a relationship than when a couple gets married - under the impression that they will be having children - then several years down the line one of the partners decides to confess that they never wanted children, but said what they thought would make the other person happy.
This isn’t fair to either party, especially to the person lied too. This is a prime example as to why communication between a couples, early on, is essential to success and happiness.
5. Expectations of Workload Around the House
In this day in age, chores, duties and responsibilities are no longer gender specific. Will you each take turns with specific chores? Will one of you be homemaker? Will either of you be cleaning or do you plan to hire a cleaning service?
These might not seem important; however, it removes the initial shock that comes with moving in together. You’d be surprised at how much resentment can build over something as small as doing the laundry or mowing the yard.
6. List Your Priorities
Our experts have found that if a couple sits down, each making a list of their priorities (and actually talking about the future), they can resolve almost all unforeseen issues, or at the very least discuss them, before a relationship becomes fully committed.
Make a list of the top priorities in your life. What comes first? Your spouse, kids, other family, religion, money, traveling, volunteering?
Share this list with your partner and see if their list is the same. If your list is family and Christian commitment, and theirs is football and traveling, you might want to re-evaluate before you make the step from Christian dating to relationship.
7. Bucket Lists Lighten the Mood!
When you outline conversations to have before committing, end with a lighter topic. It’s a great way to wrap up the conversations on a lighter note, while still providing the two of you the opportunity to find out more about each other. Furthermore, it still provides an outlet for talking about the future: goals, dreams, plans, and desires.
The perfect way to do this is with a bucket list. If each of you talk about certain things you want to accomplish before you die, it gives you a better sense of that person as a whole and also provides an opportunity for open and honest dialogue.
Now that you know the right discussions to have, find your committed partner with Zoosk, the best dating site that seamlessly integrates with your social media accounts to allow for the perfect Christian dating solution, whether at home or on-the-go.
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