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Weirdo Alerts Online: Steer Clear of these 5 Personalities
By Laurel House
Just like in the “real" world of dating- meeting at bars, setups, and random run-ins; weirdos complicate the process of finding love online. But that doesn’t mean you should ditch the platform all together! Instead, again, just like in the real world, be smart, safe, and aware of your surroundings.
Here are 5 weirdo online dating types to stay clear of, how to spot them, and what their general MO is, so that you can find true love online dating:
People who present themselves as one person, but are really another. They hide their true selves behind a different face and description, sometimes stealing photos from other social sites where several photos of the same person may exist- like Myspace or Facebook, or even from friends and family members. Generally, catfish aren’t scheming to swindle money, but instead to swindle hearts. Oftentimes catfish are insecure in their own authentic skin, and it’s for that reason that they want to get you to fall for them under false pretenses, thinking, “if you saw what I really look like, you wouldn’t like me." They aren’t always ill intentioned, they might truly be looking for validation, a connection, or companionship. They just don’t know how to go about getting that.
Watch Out For: Catfish generally appear to be “too perfect." They are often very good looking, they tell you what you want to hear, shower you with compliments, and you might think they are “too good for you." Their career has them leaving on last minute trips, but when they are “in town" they contact you often via phone, text, and long emails. They fall for you hard and fast, but somehow are always unable to meet up in person- oftentimes due to those last minute business trips. A “bad internet connection" makes video communication impossible.
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People who are online dating for the purpose of easy sex. Generally, scam artists aren’t into games. They don’t lie about wanting a real relationship with you. They are very purpose driven- sex, and their words and actions prove it.
Watch Out For: Their photos are very sexy and sexual. They will likely have scantily clad main profile photos. Their written profile is sparse, though there are mentions of how sexual they are. If there are any books in the interests section, they are often children’s books, like “The Very Hungry Caterpillar" or “Where the Wild Things Are," or sexual in nature, like “Fifty Shades of Grey." In their initial outreach to you, they will say something sexy. The sexual tone will quickly escalate as your email exchanges continue. If you exchange text messages, they will almost immediately be sext messages. They may ask to meet up for “a drink and some fun," or suggest that you skip the pleasantries all together and just head over to their place.
People who use online dating sites as a hunting ground to scam unsuspecting daters for money. Similar to catfish, scam artists sometimes use fake profiles, photos, and personas. Other times they are totally themselves. But the one consistent falsehood is their intention. Unlike the more innocent nature of catfish, scam artists are in it for money, not love or validation.
Watch Out For: Many of their actions and behaviors are very similar to catfish- they may also appear to be too perfect, shower you with compliments, want to talk frequently, and fall for you hard and fast. If they are using their real face, they may be available for video chatting. But one major difference between scam artists and catfish, is that scam artists will be very upfront about asking you for money. It might be couched in a story, something like “I just got in a major car accident and I have no insurance. Can you send me $2000?" They could say, “I am on a last minute international business trip and someone stole my wallet and credit cards. I hadn’t yet booked my return flight as I didn’t know when I would be coming back. Can you please wire me $5000? I promise I will pay you back as soon as I meet you." Or they could do it in an even more manipulative way, setting a first date with you, then not showing up, but instead calling 30 minutes later saying that they are in the hospital and they need money. Scam artists are excellent at pulling your heartstrings and manipulating you out of your money.
People who are looking to have a little fun with a lot of people. No strings, no emotions attached. They are currently single, but have no intention of a relationship. Though they might act as though that’s their end goal. They count on you not asking them what their dating purpose is- “don’t ask, don’t tell
Watch Out For: They may forget details about you, call you the wrong name, or bring up a story that they thought you told them. Their schedule is very busy and you generally can only get a date with them late at night- after they have had dinner with someone else. If you do have a dinner date with them, they may have a set out time when they have to get home with the excuse that they have to “wake up early the next morning." If you ask them, however, what their dating purpose is and if they are dating other people, they will generally be honest with you about it, telling you that they aren’t looking for a relationship right now.
People who are married or in committed relationships, but are looking to have an affair.
Watch Out For: They might not have a photo up, and instead offer to send their pic upon request. They avoid questions about their dating purpose and if they want to get married/have kids someday. They might tell you that they are separated, in an open relationship, about to leave their partner, or “have an agreement" with their spouse since they are pretty much “just friends" anyway. If you go on a date, it’s often to random, very small places where they request a private table with little to no exposure to other customers. They prefer if you don’t call or text, but instead like to communicate only via email.
So if you’re wondering how to find love online dating without getting caught up in one of the traps of these weirdos? Ask a lot of questions- including their dating purpose and life stories, Google Image search their online profile photos, and once you get their phone number or email address- Google that too. While there are some bad catches, the vast majority of the 40 million Americans using dating sites today are genuinely looking for love, so don’t lose hope!
But rest assured, the majority of online daters are truly authentically good people looking for a real relationship, just like you. If you date smart, prequalify, and don’t get overly caught up with the “too good to be true," you should be well on your way to finding love online.
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