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The Turkey Drop into Christmas Jitters
By Erika Ettin
The turkey drop kind of sounds like a dance move, doesn’t it?
Urban Dictionary says, “This happens when a dating couple tries the long-distance relationship thing when they go off to university or college in September. Typically, when Thanksgiving rolls around and everyone goes home for the holiday, someone gets dumped. Hence the Turkey Drop.” It goes on to say, “In addition to the college freshman trend, turkey dropping also occurs in the adult life where if you're not in a great situation at Thanksgiving, then you better get out then. If not, then you run into the problem of being a cad for dumping someone around Christmas, New Year's, and Valentine’s Day. And heaven forbid they have a birthday November-February, too.”
Even celebrities have, whether knowingly or not, jumped on the bandwagon of breaking up with their significant others sometime between late November and late December. In 2012, that’s when Rihanna and Chris Brown broke up, and in 2010, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds ended their two-year marriage just before Christmas.
Two data researchers, David McCandless and Lee Byron, charted the most frequent times of year that relationships end and found two peak times: one in March and one in the run up to Christmas. It’s hard to say what specifically causes the trend, but it can likely be attributed to the stress the impending holiday season always seems to bring, especially when family is involved. Many people also may become reflective around the holidays and start to question the direction their lives are going, which can, of course, make them wonder about their current relationship and its feasibility and/or longevity.
So, what am I saying? If you’re the “turkey” in this analogy , and you find yourself the casualty of someone’s holiday self-reflection, try, as hard as it may sound, not to let it dictate how your holiday season — and the rest of the year — goes. Rather than burying your head in a vat of leftover stuffing, as delicious as it may be, let’s take a minute to remember why it’s A-okay to be single this December and share a few steps to take to ease you through the process.
1. Devote Time to Yourself
When’s the last time you got that manicure you wanted? Or treated yourself to a new pair of headphones? Or even just took that bath you’ve been craving? Now’s the time. Also, exercise is a proven way to get your endorphins going and your mood in check. Plus, you’ll get to reap the benefits of working out — the hot body you’re sculpting. Whether it’s taking your dog for a walk, riding the bike at the gym, or playing a friendly game of squash, doing something active always seems to put things in perspective.
2. Be Socially Active
I’m still talking about being active, but this time, rather than physically, I mean socially. Whether you meet your next partner or a new best friend, getting yourself out there is always a better choice than unproductively sitting at home sulking. Though, I know as well as the next person that sometimes you just need to stay home with your two favorite men — Ben and Jerry.
3. Grow the Relationships You Already Have
Surround yourself with people who love and support you, like family and friends, and appreciate and nurture these relationships. We often overlook or take for granted those most important to us. Now’s the time to devote some time and energy to those in your support system who have been, and will be, by your side during this time.
4. Join an Online Dating Site
Only after you’ve had some time to heal, join an online dating site, and if you’re already on one, become more active. It will open you up to a world of new possibilities for the remainder of this year and into next.
As we enter the holiday season, remember to put things in perspective. If the turkey did, in fact, drop, then try to take the time to revel in your new lease on love. And if your relationship makes it through the season, remember to continually nurture it to preempt any Turkey Drops in the future.
And if you need a few additional pointers for #1 above, read all about it!