7 Topics You Should Avoid On a First Date

By Ken Solin

There are more than 7 topics that should be avoided on a first date. This is because they most likely won’t create warm feelings, and at worst might end a first date prematurely.

Here are a few to consider:

1. Politics. This is a topic that should be avoided for a myriad of reasons. In fact, this is a topic better discussed, even if briefly, before a first date. I don’t believe politically polar opposites can have a successful relationship because their world-views will nearly always be at loggerheads.

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2. Money. Unless your date shows up looking thoroughly disheveled, this is a topic that can wait at least until you have decided there’s potential.

3. Ex’s. Ex-wives, ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, or ex-girlfriends should be avoided. Talking about this will tell your date you’re not over that person yet, and the only thing worse than bringing up an ex is appearing angry or bitter about them.

4. Grandchildren. While many of us are grandparents, that doesn’t mean that everyone you meet will be interested in your grandkids. This is a topic that can wait.

5. Sex. If you’re still sexual, this is a topic that’s okay to bring up, but only in the context of asking whether or not your date is also still sexual. I was surprised at first when women asked me this question on first dates, but after they mentioned that the reason they asked was that many men my age no longer are, the question made sense.

6. Gender Slamming. It’s not smart to disparage men or women or to infer there’s something wrong with them in general in terms of dating. Beginning a sentence with, “You know what’s a disaster about dating men/women” is a mistake because it automatically puts your date on the defensive.

7. Divorce or death. If you’re still hurting emotionally after your divorce or the death of a loved one then you’re not really ready to date. Bringing up either of these two topics won’t make your first date your last.

I suggest every senior dater install a time delay mechanism in his or her head to avoid talking about anything that might turn a first date off permanently. Before you bring something up, consider for a few seconds how your date, a stranger, will receive your statement. If you have any doubt whatsoever about starting a conversation because the topic has the potential to be misunderstood, or worse, keep it to yourself. Just because you’re comfortable talking about a topic doesn’t mean your first date will also be comfortable around it.

Remember, if you hope to be in a successful long-term relationship, you want to find someone who is as much like you as possible. Part of being a good partner is knowing when it’s okay to bring up a difficult topic for conversation, but this isn’t a skill either person will have on a first date.

 

 

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