Tips For Jumping Back Into The Dating Scene

By Ken Solin

Getting back into dating after a long hiatus is like jumping off a cliff—it might make you nervous, but it's oh so exhilarating. These tips will help you take those first steps to signing up for an online dating site

1. Test the waters first

Easing back into dating is easier than jumping feet-first back in because you will be given time to increase your dating skills and gain some much-needed courage. If you jump in without wading the waters, you might end up feeling terribly about yourself because you didn’t hone in your dating skills and therefore failed at courting the woman you wanted to meet.

2. Set boundaries

Before you reveal your life story in an online dating profile, consider how much of your personal life should be available to others. Sure, vulnerability is critical in relationship building, but it’s probably not the best idea to include everything in your online profile.

3. Brace yourself

Preparing yourself emotionally is another critical aspect of easing back into dating. You may feel ready to date in terms of wanting to go out and meet potential partners, but is your heart fully healed from your last relationship? If it isn’t, meaning you’re still feeling sad, lonely, wounded, etc., then you may want to reconsider dating until you are emotionally healed.

Asking advice

Get in touch with why you want to date again on an emotional level. Loneliness is not a good reason to date. Sure, we all want to find a partner, but there’s a huge difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely. Until you can make this distinction it might be better to work on yourself.

4. Dig deep

Before you post your online dating profile, write down the half dozen qualities you feel make you special. Some examples are integrity, emotionally evolved, intellectually curious, compassionate, kind, and whatever else you feel portrays you closely. You’ll want to keep this list in mind while dating because you’ll likely want to date a man/woman with the same qualities. Dating someone with similar qualities, core values, and beliefs will more likely lead to finding a life partner.

5. Interview your friends

Talk with friends who are in successful, long-term relationships to discover what makes their relationships work. Their relationships might serve as models for you to emulate, at least to some extent.

6. Do your research

When selecting an online dating site, consider your personal preferences. For example, if you prefer being set up, a site like Zoosk might be best for you, but if you prefer searching for matches yourself, check out match.com

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