Tips For Jumping Back Into The Dating Scene

By Ken Solin

Trying to approach dating after a long hiatus is daunting to just about anyone. There is understandable fear surrounding public exposure and judgment. And often, when approaching dating online, there’s often fear regarding the amount of personal information you put on your online dating profile. Will someone stop and read? Or will they stop, read, judge, and continue on?

Easing back into dating is easier than jumping feet-first back in because you will be given time to increase your dating skills and gain some much-needed courage. If you jump in without wading the waters, you might end up feeling terribly about yourself because you didn’t hone in your dating skills and therefore failed at courting the woman you wanted to meet.

Before you reveal your life story in an online dating profile, consider how much of your personal life should be available to others. Sure, vulnerability is critical in relationship building, but it’s probably not the best idea to include everything in your online profile.

Preparing yourself emotionally is another critical aspect of easing back into dating that you should spend time considering. You may feel ready to date in terms of wanting to go out and meet potential partners, but is your heart fully healed from your last relationship? If it isn’t, meaning you’re still feeling sad, lonely, wounded, etc., then you may want to reconsider dating until you are emotionally healed.

Before you post your online dating profile, write down the half dozen qualities you feel make you special. Some examples are integrity, emotionally evolved, intellectually curious, compassionate, kind, and whatever else you feel portrays you closely. You’ll want to keep this list in mind while dating because you’ll likely want to date a man/woman with the same qualities. Dating someone with similar qualities, core values, and beliefs will more likely lead to finding a life partner.

Talk with friends who are in successful, long-term relationships to discover what makes their relationships work. Their relationships might serve as models for you to emulate, at least to some extent.

Asking advice

Sex is another aspect of dating to consider because midlife men and women don’t always have the same sexual desires. It is important to touch base on this topic in order to make sure your sexual desires are compatible.

Get in touch with why you want to date again on an emotional level. Loneliness is not a good reason to date. Sure, we all want to find a partner, but there’s a huge difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely. Until you can make this distinction it might be better to work on yourself.

About Ken Solin

Author and columnist Ken Solin is a boomer Dating Expert for The Huffington Post, AARP, and Solin also writes about boomer sex and relationships. Ken’s new book, The Boomer Guide To Finding True Love Online offers real-life boomer dating solutions based on Ken’s online dating experiences. Learn more about Ken and his dating philosophy.



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