I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
Does Your Online Profile Reflect a Desire To Be In A Relationship?
By Ken Solin
Many seniors are just going through the motions when they date online. And too many wonder why they’re not meeting anyone. Cobbling together a cut and paste profile taken from old online profiles is a surefire way to end up not being successful in your online dating pursuit. If you don’t think it matters whether or not you make the effort to reflect your desire, think again, because you just wasted your time and energy joining the senior dating website.
I dated online for long enough to know that creative profiles that reflect a real desire make a huge difference regarding whether the invitations you send to potential dates are responded to. I date coach senior women, and what I’ve noticed is that when I meet a new client who tells me her emails are mostly ignored, her online profile invariably reflects a lack of desire to meet someone.
Work The Odds
In truth, there are more available senior women than men, and worse, lots of senior men seem to be interested only in younger women. Does this mean senior women should give up the notion of ever meeting someone online? Of course not, but it does mean that you’ll need to make a sincere effort regarding how you present yourself by not posting a poorly written profile.
Even though the odds are in a senior man’s favor, I made sure when I dated online that my profile captured the type of attention I wanted. For instance, I mentioned that I’d done the type of emotional work that helps men evolve, both in therapy and a men’s group. That one sentence functioned like a magnet. The number of specific responses from women who understood what that one line meant was enormous. Was it a trick? Absolutely not, because I’d done the work, and there’s nothing sleight of hand about mentioning how you’ve worked to move beyond your issues. And most seniors appreciate the value associated with having done “the work.”
Don’t Be Boring
I suggest my clients mention their travels, but not in a conventional way. Listing the places you’ve been is boring to other singles, and some may even consider it pretentious. So how can a senior reflect his or her desire to be in a relationship in terms of travel? It’s simple. Instead of posting a laundry list of places you’ve traveled to, pick one that’s your absolute favorite. Now write a short film script about what it might be like to travel to that place with a lover. Be specific when mentioning the venues you’d take your lover in that special place. Museums, a romantic neighborhood restaurant, a park where you like to sit and people watch, an area you love to walk, a particular hotel where you stay, a great café for morning coffee, a cool bar for a drink before dinner, a music venue, or any other feature about your favorite destination that someone might find appealing. And remember to be inclusive in your descriptions, in terms of mentioning how it might feel to share them with someone special.
Don’t Be Shy
And don’t be shy about the romantic aspects of your favorite place. Your short film should appeal to the specific type of person you’re looking to meet. If you adore London, then all of your descriptions should be written to appeal to a fellow London aficionado. Don’t worry about losing out because some people don’t like your favorite place, because you only want to meet men or women who do. If it’s your favorite then you don’t want to have to convince someone that it should be his or her favorite, too. Make dating easier by zeroing in on other seniors with the same, or at least very similar likes and dislikes.
Your desire to be in a relationship will be obvious if you present yourself as a serious dater who knows who they are and what they want in a partner. Finding that person isn’t ever about negotiating your core values or beliefs, and it’s not about luck either. The more effort you make to create interest in you the greater the response, and equally important, responses from the right type of single seniors.
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About Ken Solin
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