Why You Should Delete Your Dating Inbox Now

Senior man deleting inboxBy Ken Solin

The first advice I give my new senior date coaching clients is to date proactively - not reactively. I urge them to delete all of the emails in their online dating website’s inbox and send emails only to the men or women they feel share their best qualities and characteristics instead. Why?

Because You’re Tired of the ‘Copy-n-Paste’ Messages

In a perfect world this might not be necessary but the senior online dating community is far from perfect. Perhaps the worst example of online dating’s imperfect nature is that many senior daters, men in particular, simply cut and paste a hello message and email it to a host of single seniors randomly rather than reading potential dates’ profiles. They do so without any thought to whether or not the recipients of their emails are even appropriate. And the proof of this mostly male dysfunctional dating behavior is women who respond typically don’t hear back.

Because Spamming Doesn’t Yield Good Results

It’s sort of like making spaghetti and throwing it against the wall until one piece sticks to see if it’s cooked. Unfortunately the senior online daters that practice this dubious behavior believe that spamming will yield good results. It won’t. So I prefer my clients not waste time fielding and weeding through date offers. Sure they might miss a good one but not for long if they follow my advice because they’ll find that person on their own.

Because you Should Be Proactive Online

But the biggest reason to send your own email invitations is even more important than avoiding spammers. Rather than spending the time it takes to look at the profiles of other singles that send you emails it makes more sense to simply do your own selecting. You should know exactly what you’re looking for before you begin dating online and on that basis doing your own searches will avoid wasted time, frustration, and fatigue.

Perhaps other date coaches feel differently about dating proactively instead of reactively but after several years of dating online and coaching senior women over 50 the results are clear. Choosing your own potential dates to contact means that you’ve already vetted them before you ever sent an email. So you already know whether or not each of your picks represents the type of man or woman you’d like to have as a partner before contacting them. And you’ll avoid the daily grind of checking your inbox hoping that Mr. or Ms. Wonderful has sent you a message.

Senior woman deleting inbox

Because there are No Shortcuts

Experienced senior daters, women in particular, tell me they’ve joined several dating websites but never met anyone with partner potential. When I ask what methodology they implemented to meet someone special nearly all said they mostly responded to emails sent to them. And while this is the easiest approach to online dating it’s the least successful unless you’re a dreamer who believes you’re going to bump into the love of your life in the supermarket.

There are no shortcuts to online dating success and there are a plethora of failed attempts. In my experience online dating is like any other worthwhile activity. You get out of it what you put into it and waiting for your inbox to fill up isn’t putting much into it.

Ready to be proactive about your love life? Sign up to a dating site of your choice now.

 

About Ken Solin

Author and columnist Ken Solin is a boomer Dating Expert for The Huffington Post, AARP, and About.com. Solin also writes about boomer sex and relationships. Ken’s new book, The Boomer Guide To Finding True Love Online offers real-life boomer dating solutions based on Ken’s online dating experiences. Learn more about Ken and his dating philosophy.

 

 

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