I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
Why It Is Easier For Senior Women To Live Without Sex
By Ken Solin
Many senior men date younger women exclusively, which leaves millions of truly amazing senior women to wonder if or when men over 50 will ever get what they’re missing not dating them. But absent being in a relationship, most women over 50 appear to suffer far less without sex than men.
It Isn’t About Not Being Sexual
The major reason women over 50 have a distinct advantage over men, in terms of not being sexual and not feeling deprived, is that every senior woman I’ve known has an intimate, tight-knit circle of women friends with whom she shares her issues, including dating and relationship problems. The emotional support women offer each other is so powerful they feel cared for emotionally.
Typically, spending time with their women friends is simply making a phone call. Most senior women have infinite patience around waiting for the right relationship before becoming sexual, in part because their support system fills the emotional gaps. Alternatively, few men have the type of men friends they feel safe talking with about their feelings.
These insights come from dating and date coaching, friendships with several single senior women friends, and thousands of comments from readers, all of which suggest that men and women over 50 are equally eager to respond to their sexual desires, particularly after long sexual dry spells in bad marriages.
But women are more comfortable than men waiting for an emotional component to develop before becoming sexual. Their goal is a relationship, and while most men want that too, men are reluctant to commit quickly, which conflicts with their immediate sexual needs with senior women.
Senior Sex Mythology
The notion that women over 50 are no longer interested in sex is a total myth. That women prefer sex within the context of a committed relationship has nothing to do with sexual desire. Senior women are aware that great sex depends primarily on what’s in your heart, not your head. So there’s a sexual gap between what men and women over 50 expect from dating.
Men have more online choices because of the smaller numbers of available single men than women, and it’s easy for a guy to act like a kid in a candy store. Women over 50 typically don’t have as many date choices, but as mentioned, they do have friendships to comfort them between dates and relationships.
Sometimes Women Get It Wrong
A fair number of women over 50 who date online say that few men measure up to their basic needs. Some women insist all the good men are taken, and what are available are leftovers. I go online with my women clients frequently, and I totally disagree. And I base my opinion on 25 years of experience working with men in groups.
I know what to look for in men for my clients, in terms of what will work for most, and there are always a fair number of solid candidates.
Why Women Rock
Women over 50 have far more emotional, sexual, and intellectual depth than younger women. They’ve made their mark in the world, and spent a lifetime perfecting it. They’re rich in experiences that match men over 50 far better than younger women.
The strength of character women developed through their life struggles as mothers, in careers, fighting for winning equal rights, and friendships, make them fulfilling partners who don’t cut and run at the first sign of trouble. And a woman’s life experiences create character, not baggage.
Online Dating Is An Equalizer
There is a place where senior men and women can find mutual joy, and it’s online dating. I met the love of my life online nearly three years ago. We had both been online for several years, had a plethora of coffee dates, and didn’t feel we would ever meet our life partners. That we did meet suggests that persistence pays off. While far from perfect, online dating for seniors is the closest thing to it. Don’t be shy, be proactive.
About Ken Solin
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