I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
A Guide to a Successful First Sleepover for Seniors
By Ken Solin
If it's been awhile since you dated or had sex and the prospect of your first sleepover with your new partner can fill your heart with fear or a sense of skyrocketing sexual excitement, most likely both. Will your first overnighter crash to earth with a resounding thud, or will it float gently back to earth afterward?
Although a first overnight date can definitely be classified as a leap of faith, you can make it more of a loving success than a disaster by using the following tips. All of these suggestions were developed from my own experiences and the thousands of comments posted by senior men and women on dating articles I've written.
1. The First Brick
After all, as Pink Floyd's Roger Waters might have put it, this night is just another brick in the wall, which you might want to think of as representing the wall supporting your new relationship.
So while it's normal to have expectations about this first overnight date, be aware that it can create pressure, which unfortunately can lead to performance anxiety, which in turn becomes disappointment. The quality of physical intimacy in a relationship generally improves over time, as the emotional connection grows and a couple becomes more familiar with each other’s sexual wants and needs. So relax if this particular night doesn't equal or exceed previous first overnight experiences. You'll have plenty of opportunities to improve on it. After all, practice makes perfect
You'll likely both be somewhat nervous, but keeping your wits about you can take some of the pressure off. It might even help turn a night of missteps and miscues into some fond and funny memories that you and your partner will laugh about down the road. You want to make this night a joyful celebration, and a light-hearted attitude will help you achieve that. It’s your first sexual evening together, not the last.
3. The Home Field Advantage
While this is somewhat difficult to explain, the majority of commenters recommended the woman should ideally be the one to host a first overnight date. Maybe it's a comfort-level thing, but even if it isn’t, a guy can travel for an overnighter with a toothbrush, while a woman needs to pack considerably more. Anything that makes a woman feel as comfortable as possible is worthwhile, and giving her the home field advantage, which every sports enthusiast knows has tangible value, is a courtesy that should be extended. You can always talk about it before and learn from your dynamics about what would the both of you feel most comfortable with.
4. Go Slow
Agree ahead of time not to rush the evening because there's no reason to hurry and there are many reasons to go slow. You have the entire night to express how you feel about each other. So have a drink, talk, and try to relax. And at some point discuss what this night means to each of you, because it has the potential to become a sweet, shared memory.
This particular tip is especially crucial for men, who are hardwired for instantaneous intimacy. But intentions matter too, so express yours in terms of just being the beginning of an intimate relationship and be patient. Focus on showing her how much you care for her, rather than what an Olympian lover you are. If all you can think about is just the intimate part, then know that you are not paying attention to your partner and her feelings, and that could result in a bad experience.
Prolonged and passionate kissing will help narrow the gender sexual readiness gap, and even if this first overnight leads to nothing more than kissing, which is a major aspect of foreplay, the night should be considered a great success. And even just snuggling, spooning and falling asleep in each other's arms still counts as a success. It means you've moved your commitment to each other, and the relationship up a notch.
And since you have plenty of time to refine the nature and quality of the relationship’s sexual intimacy together, consider rating your first overnight date on a scale of emotional, more than physical, satisfaction.
Yours Is The Only Opinion
Remember that you and your partner are the only people whose judgment about this night matters. You don’t have to discuss it with anyone, other than to mention it was sweet. If you treat this special date like a unique gift that's best unwrapped slowly and with respect, it will remain a treasured mutual experience for years to come. Your intimacy is sacred and should be shared between the two of you and not anyone else.
If your first sleepover experience was a success, don’t stop there and get inspired by these great romantic overnight ideas. And if it wasn’t and you are looking for a change, start by finding the right online dating site for you.
About Ken Solin
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