I’ve lost track of the number of times senior men and women have told me they felt it was okay to lie about age in their online dating profiles. If I had to give a percentage to seniors who believe...
3 Ways For Over 50s To Get Out Of A Dating Rut
By Ken Solin
I’ve never met a single senior who didn’t find him or herself in a dating rut from time to time. It’s inevitable considering the stress involved in senior online dating. Fatigue in particular can become so overwhelming that every man or woman’s profile begins to blend into one composite person. It doesn’t take spending that much time online for a single senior to feel weary and start thinking online dating is hopeless. Here are 3 suggestions for date-fatigued, burned out seniors to climb out of their dating rut.
1. Take A Break
Taking a break from online dating doesn’t mean taking a night off from it when you’re feeling date fatigued. It means walking away from your computer for as many days or as long as necessary to feel enthusiastic about the possibilities again. There’s absolutely no virtue in stubbornly remaining online, because when you’re in that state of mind you’re not really able to see potential dates clearly.
If taking time off makes you feel anxious because you think you’ll miss someone terrific, or that someone may have emailed you and you need to reply immediately, relax. Contacting potential dates or answering emails when you’re in a rut will rarely prove successful because your mental fatigue will show through in your emails. And even if you manage to “fake it” in your emails, it will surely be obvious in a conversation. I still remember talking on the phone with women I felt positive about and wishing I’d waited until I felt less burned out before I called. You can’t be your best dating self when you’re in a negative state, and it’s pointless to try to fight your way out of it. Taking a break is a smart course of action.
Taking some time off from dating is the perfect opportunity to refresh your online dating profile. Don’t do it right away and do take some time off, but when you feel a little better, channel that positive energy into updating your profile. Posting a series of new photos invariably creates the impression you’re a new person on that dating site, and typically your inbox will begin to fill up. But you need to do a lot more than posting new photos. Take this resting time to rewrite your profile too. A senior’s life goes through changes, so update your profile to reflect who you are today..Start fresh with a blank screen and write your new profile on your computer and then transfer it to your online profile, which is easier than trying to type into the small box provided.
If you have season tickets to sporting or cultural events then mention that you’re looking for a fellow enthusiast to attend those events with you. If you’ve joined any organizations or volunteer groups then mention these as well. Use this opportunity to create some type of hook that will catch an online dater’s attention.
3. Reinvent Yourself
You’ve probably been dating the same man or woman with different names for years, and you’ve likely had little success with that type or you wouldn’t be dating. Perhaps it’s time to come to your senses and make a change. Rethink your ideal man or woman in terms of their physical qualities. I dated the same woman with different names for many years, and it was only after I reset my physical parameters that I met my partner, who looks nothing at all like the women I’d dated.
Senior daters tend to develop a typecast for their dates over the years, and worse, they often become rigid about what physical type of man or woman they deem acceptable. Old notions of Mr. or Mrs. Perfect are generally outdated ideas that most of us would do well to dismiss. Rethink what’s really important to you in a man or woman on a physical basis and be open to changes. Neither my partner nor I reflected our previous types, yet when we met there was an unmistakable spark. I was surprised by how beautiful she was because she didn’t vaguely resemble my previous type. And she was equally surprised since I didn’t look anything like the men she had dated.
You might be pleasantly surprised to discover that your old type doesn’t really fit your current needs any longer. When you think outside of the box you’ve built that holds you captive to old notions, a whole new world of possibilities opens up.
Follow these simple tips and you’ll discover new energy for the dating process. Be your own best friend and pay attention to how you’re feeling when you’re dating online. Staying positive is critical if you hope to find your life partner. Don’t be too hard on yourself; sometimes it’s just a matter of timing. Take that break if you need to and come back with new energies to pursue your love online.
For more tips on dating, read the many helpful articles from our Top10BestDating Sites expert writers. Good luck in your search.
About Ken Solin
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