The 6 Do’s and Don’ts of Chatting on Online Dating Sites

Office flirting

By Top10BestDatingSites Staff

So, you’re one of the 50 million singles who have tried online dating, and you’re having a lot of fun.

You’ve completed the sign-up, you’ve built a pretty engaging profile (if you do say so yourself) and you’re enjoying browsing through local singles and checking out the full functionality of the top online dating sites out there. Chatrooms, dating diaries, online gifts and innovative features abound, you can finally see what all the fuss is about, and why the online dating industry is worth almost $2 Billion.

But with all these singles literally at your fingertips, what’s the best way to make the right first impression, and get the most out of online chat?

DO Make the Right First Impression

Your first message is arguably the most important one, and while everyone is looking for something slightly different, there are some obvious turn offs. While you might think short and sweet is key, simply sending a message which says “Hi” or “How are you?” is guaranteed to get lost in their inbox. What’s the incentive to reply? What’s unique about you amongst the many other hopefuls? Try for an interesting factoid or even a joke, perhaps related to something they’ve shown interest in on their online profile. This shows you’ve looked at more than just their photo, and also gives a bit of info about your own personality, too.

DON’T… Come On Too Strong

While it’s great to be confident, and a recent survey showed that women are hugely turned off by men who lack confidence there is certainly a way to take it too far. A simple compliment such as “you have beautiful eyes” or “what a great smile” is always lovely to hear for either gender, but anything sexual in nature, or repeated compliments can make someone feel nervous rather than flattered. Sweeping compliments for an initial message are also a big no-no, as most people would rather wait until you get to know each other a bit better before being told you can “sense” they are special or unique.


lady being flattered online

Do… Take Everything with a Pinch of Salt

Unfortunately the internet is an easy place for dishonesty, and while most people are genuinely looking for love and romance, it is easy to exaggerate on the finer details. Studies have shown that men lie most about age, height and income, while women can stretch the truth when it comes to weight and physical build. Focus on getting to know one another, and don’t be too caught up with the information on your crush’s profile in these areas. If you think of everything as slightly more ball park, it will save you some disappointment if your match has been a bit liberal with the truth.

DON’T… Rush

Safety is really important, especially when you’re learning about a new person. Never feel pressured into moving faster than you’re ready to, and take advantage of the online dating sites full range of functionality. All the best sites will have inbox messaging which is similar to email and a great place to start. Some offer safe SMS texting if you want to chat offline, or try Zoosk​ who have their own messenger app for chatting on the go. Once you’re ready, see if your website offers live chat by cam, or safe phone calling. Once you’re comfortable chatting on audio and video, you can start discussing an offline meet in a safe and public place.

ady and man cam chat

DO… Find Out What You Have In Common

If you can keep up a flowing conversation online when there’s no distractions and without an activity to keep you occupied, you’re off to a great start on the path to a budding romance. Your best chance of avoiding awkward is to make sure you have plenty in common to start with. One great way to do this is to join a more niche dating website. Try a religious niche such as JDate​ or ChristianMingle​ or an age or lifestyle choice such as SingleParentMeet​ or OurTime​.

DON’T… Give Up

Not having any luck with the members you match with? Try expanding your search results, or spicing up your profile a bit to attract a different kind of user. After all, studies show that 94% of US dating site users say that online dating expands their dating pool. With such great functionality for dating both at home and on the go, and a ton of awesome dating tools on the top online dating websites, it’s only a matter of time before you find the right match.

Got through the first date and gearing up for Date #2? Try these conversation starters to make sure it runs smoothly.

About Top10BestDatingSites Staff

The Top 10 Best Dating Sites staff are your guides to the world of online dating websites and services. The team navigates the world of online dating and share their findings to help readers find online dating success. Our team includes dating experts James Preece, Laurel House, Ken Solin, Nida Sea, Vanae Tran, Carmelia Ray and many more talented writers. Top 10 Best Dating Sites staff have extensive first-hand experience in: signing up for and using various online dating sites; researching the ever-growing online dating market; and copywriting and editing for various online and print publications about online dating.



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