Sit up straight!Don’t cross your arms!Look me in the eye! These sound like things your grandma would have said to you when you were in your rebellious teenage years, right?While my Grandma Henny never...
Christmas Lights and Falling in Love Under the Mistletoe
By: Erika Ettin
When Andy Williams sings It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, we know he’s not referring to early May when the flowers start blooming. He’s also not singing about the first sighting of the orange and red leaves on the trees in the fall. He’s, of course, singing about Christmas and all of the magic surrounding it.
Is there a best time of year to do online dating?
People ask me all the time, “Is there a best time of year to do online dating?” In short, the answer is no. I’d first say that the best time for you to try online dating is when you’re emotionally ready for it. (That’s not exactly what people want to hear, of course.) Online dating does take a significant amount of work to do it well, so make sure you’re ready to put in the time and energy. It’s not simply taking a selfie and writing a few lines about yourself as quickly as you can and posting it to see who writes to you. It’s about being creative, proactive, and patient.
Once you’ve crossed that emotional threshold and you’re ready to take the online dating plunge, there is one time of year that it may suit you well to log on: the week between Christmas and New Year’s. And then ride that wave all the way through Valentine’s Day. Think: new beginnings, someone to snuggle with in the cold, and a date for New Year’s Eve. It makes sense that this is the most popular time to log on. Not to mention all of that family time! There’s no better way to dodge your family’s intrusive questions than escaping to the restroom to swipe to your heart’s content.
What if I’m seeing someone new over the holidays?
Now, on the flip side of the coin, what if this Christmas, you’re seeing someone new, and instead of swiping, you’d rather be smooching?
It’s easy to get caught up in the holiday spirit, especially if someone new is in the picture. Just like I advised you not to introduce your new significant other to your family for the first time on Thanksgiving, I have similar advice for the rest of the holiday season. Don’t get carried away.
I know holiday movies have their own way of turning every little gesture into the most romantic thing on earth, but remember that those are just movies, and you don’t have to make your first Christmas with someone add all of that pressure to the blooming relationship.
Should the time of year we meet matter?
Whether you fall for someone over the diving board in the summer or under the Mistletoe in the winter, the particular time of year shouldn’t dictate the progression of the relationship. It’s easy to move too quickly and invite a new significant other to family holiday functions and cozy up every night by the fire since it’s too cold to go out. But, is that healthy for the relationship? Relationships should take time to progress.
I used to be someone who preferred to jump two feet in before testing the water. I figured that if I liked someone, not just during the holiday season, it must be a good idea to see him seven nights a week, right!? And if he learned all my little idiosyncrasies early on, it would be endearing, wouldn’t it? Not exactly.
When you like someone who likes you back, the anticipation of seeing each other again is often one of the best parts of a new relationship. The beginning of a relationship is exciting, and the temptation to jump in is going to be there, especially around the holidays. Remember, though, that if this person is going to be around for a while, it’s not necessary to hit the accelerator when you can simply cruise at a steady speed until you’re ready to take it to the next level.
There is no hard and fast rule, of course, but seeing someone once or twice a week for the first month of a new relationship is a healthy choice. This way, you’ll have the anticipation and excitement of the next date, and you’ll have enough to talk about since you didn’t just see each other the night before! Use this time to get to know each other’s hobbies, things that make each of you tick, life ambitions, etc. And that you can do all of that under the Mistletoe… and seal it with a kiss.
If you’re curious for more ideas early on in the relationship, take a peek at these awesome second date ideas!
About Erika Ettin
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