Accepting that you're a lesbian and coming out to your friends and family is hard enough. However, the most difficult part is yet to come: finding someone that you are compatible with...maybe even someone you love! Your first experiences with online lesbian dating may be overwhelming. There are numerous mainstream sites and many niche sites that help you to break into dating cyberspace. However, you don't have to sign up with every lesbian-dating site you find. All you need is one; one site that offers an excellent service with all the benefits and niceties that you find appealing.

First, understand that lesbian dating has many sub-niches that you might find agreeable or disagreeable. There are some mainstream sites that welcome all sexual orientations. There are even Christian websites that match up gay and lesbian partners. There are also niche sites for bisexuals, transgendered lovers, lovers with STDs, and sexual fetish websites. These sites might be for lesbians, but that doesn't mean they are for you! Match.com is one of the most popular mainstream sites (and has the largest population of GLBT members) and offers a wide variety of useful tools to singles looking for love or just a date.

The first step is to determine the type of relationship you are looking for. Some websites focus on casual encounters (or purely sexual relationships), while other promote long-term relationships. Just because a new member is a lesbian doesn't mean that she will quickly find a variety of compatible partners. We each have our own unique qualities and our own hopes/wishes for a dream partner. Avoid websites that seem to be moving in a different direction than you are. If you are offended at the crude tone of a certain website, avoid it. If you think one website is promoting an agenda that you don't particularly care about then avoid it.

It is important that you be upfront about what you are looking for in a relationship. This not only applies during the sign up phase but also when posting your personal profile. Make it clear what exactly you are looking for, whether it's a sexual partner or a long-term love. If you're bisexual you should make this clear. If you're a lesbian looking for a lesbian and not a bisexual lover then you should make this clear. It's very easy to presume things that are not true when you date online. (Or when you date at all! People typically don't share personal information unless they are asked)

Compared to dating in a gay bar or picking someone up off the street, online lesbian dating is actually the safest option to pursue. However, because the novelty of online dating may be new to you, it's very easy to let your guard down and ignore (or totally miss) potential red flags. The fact you're a lesbian and are excited to meet people that understand your upbringing and the challenges you've faced may also cloud your judgment. Therefore, always take precautions when taking risks—such as giving out personal information or meeting someone in person.

If you are meeting someone in person, go to a public place and tell friends and family where you will be going. This serves as a protection, as this will give people some information about your local whereabouts. Naturally, the idea of first date sex is appealing, but it's not always safe. A good rapport can be faked and you really have no idea if a new lover is trustworthy until you've had a chance to meet her family and observe her in everyday life or a matter of weeks, and maybe months. So please, for your own protection, if and when you decide to become intimate with a new friend, let someone else in your life know where you will be and always use protection.

Creating an exciting lesbian dating profile can be difficult, especially if you are new to online dating or are a shy person in general. It's hard to find that fine line between confident and sexy and shameless self-promotion. Worse yet, it's so hard to appear interesting, likable and attractive when all you have to work with is text and a few screen shots. For starters, read some of the other public profiles on the dating site and get a feel for how people talk (type) in this community. Take note of what you like and don't like.

Now start your own profile. Choose a photo that shows you looking your best in terms of friendliness, sexiness and confidence. This applies whether you are a butch or a femme. Smile and put your “best foot forward.” Do not neglect paragraphs about relationship wants, hobbies, work, dreams, goals and personality qualities. Do not neglect either the picture of the personal text introduction. You must connect with someone on an emotional, mental and spiritual level before physical attraction comes into play. (Although an attractive face shot never fails to capture interest!)

Give some thought to creating your profile and get serious about an online relationship!

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